Have
you ever been on a long bike ride? Not one
that involves smooth trails, flat terrain and water fountains just at the point
when you think you need a drink. But maybe
a ride that was long, the day was hot, sunscreen was forgotten, and there were
a lot of uphill climbs? And, maybe,
during one of these climbs, the chain breaks on your bicycle? Well, if you know me, you know I hate biking,
but lately I feel like I’m on a bicycle chain breaking ride with my sweet girl
Sydney.
I
have never second guessed myself more than in the last two months. I have questioned myself, sought advice,
pondered dilemmas and lost sleep trying to remember how to care for a new baby
and how to grow a loving, humble and happy 3 year old. Remember that song “Things that make you go Mmmm…” Well, that is currently my theme song. I’m constantly thinking “Mmm..what can I do to
help Sydney understand that telling her little friend that she doesn’t like her
anymore is not okay or Mmm…will Abby become obese later in life because I’ve
chosen to feed her formula because breastfeeding was as brutal as an MMA fight?”
The list of my questions and worries is
long. I’ve always had a fair amount of confidence, but this parenting thing is a
true test.
I
am affected every day in my career by people’s parenting decisions. As a teacher, I know what good parenting can
do for a child, and how misguided parenting can leave children struggling to
find their place in the world. Each year,
I meet students that leave me in awe of their awesomeness. While I was pregnant with Abby, I would catch
myself looking around my classes, and thinking, “I wonder what her/his parents
did to make her/him such a wonderful person.”
In one parent teacher interview, I actually asked one parent. She said, “Is there anything else I should
know?” And I said, “No, but there is something I would like to know. What did you do as a parent that allowed
Jessie to become an amazing student, athlete and person?” Of course, Jessie’s
mother laughed and said to me, “I never let her away with anything that didn’t
make me proud and even when I didn’t really like her behavior, I always told
her every day how much I loved her.” I
said, “Well, it sure worked.” And she replied, “Yup, but some days it was hard
work, but I think it paid off.”
I’m
hoping the hard work I’m putting in with Sydney, and eventually Abby will pay
off. This blog post was inspired when I
said to Jamie, “Well, today was a good day.
Sydney didn’t have time out.” Jamie chuckled, but after I said it, I
felt a little sad. I was measuring a successful
day by how little Sydney was punished. I
went upstairs to fold some laundry, came back down and said to Jamie, “Today
was a good day because Sydney happily played by herself, painted some beautiful
pictures, entertained us when she danced ballet after dinner and she hugged and
kissed her sister in a way that makes your heart melt.” Jamie of course laughed, and said, “Sydney is
going to be fine, don’t worry so much.” Oh, Jamie, I would love to be you for a
day.
So,
for my girls, I will measure successful days by the smiling moments rather than
the stern moments. And, I will just take
it one day at a time, because, I hope, in the end, it will pay off and my girls
will be strong, loving and contributing citizens to the world.
No
pressure.
Beth
