Saying Hi

I talk a lot when I'm out in the world.  Today I was running errands and as I was talking to a lady about her intricate hair style while I was shopping for diapers I suddenly realized I may have a stranger conversation compulsion.  I spark up conversations with a lot of people, and, the best part is that most (if not all) people will talk back to me. They just needed someone else to get the conversation started and I have no problem with that.

When Jamie and I first started dating, I would say, "Hi" to people all the time (I still do), and he would say, "Who was that?" and I would always reply, "I don't know, I just said Hi."  Very quickly, he stopped asking.  It's like this reflex I have.  Now, I don't want you to think I'm this "Hi" machine, and that every person who crosses my path receives a "Hi" from me.  No, that would be crazy.  But, when I'm out running in my neighborhood (or wherever), I say "Hi" to people I go by, or if I I'm standing in line, I might give the person beside me a little smile with a "Hi."  Not in a weird way, but a friendly way.  I don't know.  I really don't have any control over it.  It just comes out, but I'm pretty sure I know where it originated from. 

I'm an only child and I believe that my mother trained me to be friendly, or at least be open to meeting and talking to people.  She tells stories of how I would go up to kids in the playground or at the wading pool and say, "Hi, my name is Beth, do you want to play?"  As an adult, I've downgraded to just "Hi", but the effect of being friendly is just as powerful as it was when I was a kid.  I participated in a lot of fun as a child because I was willing to put myself out there and I think that's translated into a few adventures as an adult as well. 

So, that leads me to today.  I took Sydney to a friend's house who has a beautiful pool, and, if you were also in the Atlantic Provinces today, you will know it was incredibly hot outside.  I was so glad to be invited over.  As we were walking up the stairs to the house, I don't know what came over me, but I said to Sydney, "Ok Syd, Sarah is going to be here with her little girl, Tori, you remember Tori right?" Sydney nods.  "When you see her, you don't need to be shy, or hide your head.   I think you should be brave and just say Hi.  I bet they will smile and be happy when you say it, and I will be proud of you.  Do you think you could try it?"  Sydney and I were standing at the door at this point, and she said, "Yup, I will try." 

When we got in the house, I could see that they were out back by the pool.  Sydney and I got changed, and I made no mention of saying Hi. We went to the deck door, and opened it up and the first thing Sydney said was "Hi" with a big smile and a friendly voice.  Of course, Sarah smiled and said "Hi Sydney" and Tori, who is only 6 months old, smiled as well. I started chatting with Sarah and we headed to the pool.  Sydney didn't act strange (which she normally would do) and she had fun as soon as she got there, rather than needing time to warm up.  It was such a wonderful change.  We swam, we had fun, and, eventually, it was time to go.

We got outside and I loaded Syd into the van, and started to buckle her in.  You're going to think I'm making this part up, but I kid you not, this is what Sydney said to me, "Mommy, I said Hi and Sarah and Tori smiled." I was a bit taken aback because that had been well over an hour ago that we had that conversation.  I said, "I know honey, see what happens when you're friendly.  You made them happy, and all you had to do was say Hi."  Sydney smiled and said, "Are you proud of me mommy?"  Well, I don't think I have to tell you that I teared up a little bit.  I held her little face in my hands and said, "Mommy is so proud of you Sydney.  You make me so happy every day.  I love you."  She says, "I'm proud of you too Mommy."  I laughed because I was proud too.  For all the moments I have mommy guilt, I really appreciated a moment of mommy pride.

Yours in having a proud parent moment,

Beth

Just Do It

For the last few years, as a teacher, I've taught two sections of English 10 and two sections of Personal Development and Career Planning (PDCP).  In PDCP, we start the year with a two week unit where we lay a foundation of skills based on the 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens.  Habit #3 always makes me question myself.  Habit #3 is Put First Things First, which teaches to prioritize and put your most important things first, so that they don't become urgent and stressful.  Within this Habit we discuss 4 different types of people, including the procrastinator.  Every time I teach this habit, I think to myself, "Beth, you are talking about yourself here, you have got to stop procrastinating, you just have to get stuff done."  But out loud I say to students, "Doesn't it feel great to accomplish a task or goal, and in order to do that, we need to stay focused, and choose not to procrastinate, we need to choose to be doers rather than time wasters." Easier said than done.  In my mind, I'm the queen of the time wasters.

I admire a lot of people, but the people I truly admire are the people who get shit done.  People who seem to be in perpetual motion, and who leave a myriad of accomplishments in their wake.   Don't get me wrong. I do stuff, but I'm certainly not captain accomplished.  I look at things constantly and think, "I should really do something about that" And then I walk by and forget about it until the next time I decide to ignore it.

So, in the spirit of For the Girls, I've stopped walking by and I've started operation "Just Do It."  No, I'm not a Nike fan, but they really do have something figured out when it comes to their slogan.  Really, rather than procrastinating, wasting time, or thinking up excuses, it's so much easier to just do it.  I've been putting this theory into operation the past week and here is what I have learned that I would like to pass on to Cyberland.

There is immense pride in the little things.  Before I would just walk by the garden with weeds, leave the mess on the kitchen island, or curse the messy junk drawer.  This week I took 7.2 minutes (yes, I timed it) and weeded the garden by the front door, I cleared off the kitchen island in 4 minutes (and no, I didn't just put it all in a basket, I put the items away), and I pulled out the junk drawer and de-junked it.  Now when I pull out that drawer to get a pen, I smile because, there they are, all neatly organized and ready for writing.  These are all small, very silly, very minor things, but before I addressed them, they kind of made me feel badly about myself.  They were reminders of my laziness, or at least my perceived laziness.  It's amazing how good a clean junk drawer can make you feel about yourself.

When you just decide to do, fun happens.   It's been a little hectic at my house lately as Jamie has taken on a huge, time consuming task with our house, and I've had to spend a lot of time at my mom and dad's since the work he's doing is noisy, and not conducive to napping kids.  It's a lot of packing, and unpacking the kids stuff every day, but with my new Just Do It plan, the packing and unpacking is quick, which leaves me time to take the kids outside, to go to the park, to go play in the cottage that they have set up at Costco (Syd loves that thing and her mean old mommy won't buy her one) and to paint.  Sydney loves to paint, but man is it a messy affair, but we're painting, and we're having fun, and I'm setting it up, and cleaning it up, and she loves it and I love that she loves it, so we're doing it.  

I might live past 40, because it's amazing how my mind is now calm.  Rather than fill my mind with a repetition of thoughts about what I should be doing, I'm now thinking, then doing, as much as possible.  When I sit down at the end of the day to relax, or write an article for my blog, I don't have all these thoughts running through my mind, I relax.  Like, real relaxing.  Like, relaxing that I knew other people do, but I've never really enjoyed.  It's quite nice.   I feel lighter, and all I had to do was stop making excuses and start doing.  Simple concept, unbelievable outcome.

So, if you are someone how has always subscribed to the "Just Do It" plan, I admire you.  You figured it out a long time ago, and you've been enjoying all the perks of getting shit done.  For those of you who are like me, I encourage you to stop making excuses and just do it.  You'll love it.  I do.

Yours in hoping to teach my children to feel pride in accomplishments, no matter how small,

Beth